Last week I boarded a jet plane and took a flight across the country to meet 89 complete strangers.
Since my word of the year is Brave I think doing this one thing just about covered me for the remaining months. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I was nervous. But, Yes- I did it.
And thank goodness I did. And though everyone says this weekend will change your life, change doesn’t come easy to me. Growing up as an ARMY brat one would think I mastered it a few decades ago- but here I am. Nearly 30 years old and still as scared as ever of the term: change.
But one thing I did have going for me was the fact I was going to be in a house with Christine Moers. Which, in attachment parenting circles, is pretty dang awesome. So that helped. Also, the 3 in-flight beverages contributed my relaxed sense of self as a stranger picked me up in her mini van and took me out to dinner. And stranger is a term never to be used again with the lovely Wendy Taylor. I mean, we cried in a hot tub for a good hour over our sense of loss in life. And once you cry those ugly tears, well, we sealed the deal on our sisterhood.
A few days in I found myself in the bathroom crying and stopping and splashing cold water and telling myself to get a grip and crying again and trying to breathe. And as I tried to pinpoint my mini personal crisis, I realized that these 90 women have all been brought together because of heart ache and heart break and that is powerful. I was being undone as I began to truly grasp the truth in ‘You Are Not Alone.’ Once that truth sank in deep to my soul I let the flood banks loose.
And yes, the majority of that happened as the tears rolled down during a sing-a-long sesh with the ladies in my villa. And yes, I cried through Shania Twain and Tiffany songs.
But lest you think the weekend was a full fledged sob fest, I am not painting an accurate picture. The weekend was also full of smiles, the kind that happen when the hot tub is going and the neighbors do a little drop off of champagne for the trauma mamas.
The kind of smile that happens when you see past the pain in a woman’s heart and see her glow as you get the privilege to learn she is so much more then that.
The kind of smile that happens when you know you are loved by a group of women after only four days of being in one another’s lives.
The kind of smile that happens when you are apart of something real, something true, something Magic.