Sometimes life feels very redundant. That feeling washes over me at really regular-life times. Like when I am sweeping the floor for the seventeenth time in the same day or when the dishwasher stops working because the spinner thing has melted into the heating element or when the kids freak out because a rat is running across the yard.
That life-living part that sometimes feels so good and so consistent can also feel suffocating.
I look around and I see all these people who have made their dreams happen or are walking through the making-of-dreams-happen in much more romantic or magical-seeming ways. I want a magically romantic dream to come true in that same way and I don’t want to wait anymore for that to happen. I get tired of being patient and I get tired of folding laundry.
I know we all do, I am not alone in that. Folding laundry has its moments, but the moments we stand frozen in the spin cycle has its moments, too.
And some times the spin cycle seems never ending. That is where the redundancy comes in. It’s hard not to compare your life-living with someone else’s and sometimes the comparing is good. It makes us work harder, dig deeper. But sometimes it sucks. Because we are left feeling like it just is never. gonna. happen. Or at least happen for us like it did for them.
Sometimes we I just wanna be like them.
I can’t make the magic happen faster then its supposed too. And maybe the magic that happens is never even going to be the sort of magic I was looking for.
But maybe it is.
Maybe the spin-cycle will end and the rats will die and the dishwasher will get repaired and a kid will get in trouble and have to sweep the floor.
Maybe there is time for the magic to happen, yet.
hang in there my friend hang in there and hold onto the dream…and I could see rats making an appearance in a book
This post made me think of this passage…which of course is not my own wisdom at all. But I love it, and perhaps you will too. Hope you are well my friend. Oh, and I am learning slowly, that emotions are not crap.
“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”- G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy