Archive | February, 2012

crazy lady v.5.0

29 Feb

This week:

1. I made toast under the broiler. At 10pm. The kids were in bed and I was waiting for Jer to come home so I thought, obviously, I should make some toast. He came home to all the doors flung open, smoke billowing all around me and the very first thing he said to me was, You should take a picture crazy lady. So I did.. Man, I must have been pretty engrossed in Glee to not even notice till the smoke made it’s way to the living room!

2. Yesterday was a holy day in our home. One that requires a moment of silence. I FINISHED ALL THE LAUNDRY IN OUR HOUSEHOLD. And folded it. And put it away in actual drawers, as opposed to giant piles on beds that then get thrown to the ground at bedtime that then unintentionally get put back in the dirty clothes pile. But that wasn’t the part I wanted to talk about. After all the laundry was done I did an even more remarkable thing. I sat and paired up EVERY SINGLE SOCK. And then, the leftovers, those pesky leftovers that have been in that same bin for over 2 years, had a ceremonious death:

It was the first fire we have ever had in that fireplace and I must say it was a moment of truth, of clarity- I declare to never, ever have so many unmatched socks again that I must light them all on fire.

It was epic. And the children thought Dad and I were pretty varsity. Here’s a trick: If your kids think you are kinda lame, or you want to prove to them you are super cool- light something on fire. Seriosuly. It will work. And I have had my fun with fire in the past. I remember something about gasoline circles and driving through the flames in high school. Thank goodness there were no cell phone cameras back then, I would have SO been grounded!

3.It was crazy hair day at the kids’ school. Bela went with the pink and blue hair route, but Moses didn’t want that. So he decided to put clothes pins all over his head. He thought it was a touch more masculine:) I am proud of their choices.

4. I leave tomorrow for ORLANDO! Last night I dreamt that all my dreadlocks fell out and I was searching the Goodwill before I left for a scarf for my naked head. IS THE UNIVERSE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?!?!?

5. Speaking of ORLANDO, yesterday I packed my bag. Or at least tried too. Somehow in the midst of all my clean clothes I forgot how to put an outfit together. I had all my clean clothes sitting on my bed, but I couldn’t remember how to match jeans with a shirt. I am not joking. Does this happen to you when you pack? I mean, I know I have outfits because I wear them everyday. The same thing happens when I try and sit down and menu plan. I know I make meals every day but somehow when I try to think of 7 consecutive ones I find myself googling :What To Make For Dinner. It is so strange. And then I decide to make weird things like sloppy joes because that is what google says even though I would never, ever make them.

And regarding clothes at one pointI thought, oh I guess I can bring this giant orange and white mumu to wear. Ok, that has been in my closet for a year never worn once.Because even though I thought it was cool when I found it at the Goodwill, the fact is I went to Vegas and Maui and never once wore it because it looks hideous on- but for some reason I thought, oh, ‘When I go meet 90 strangers in Florida THIS is the perfect time to test drive this baby’. NO ANYA, NO! PUT THE MUMU DOWN!

What crazy thing has happened to you this week?

Love,The Crazy Lady

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tired?

27 Feb

I spent the weekend re-arranging bedrooms. To be fair, I had a good amount of help from my man. He had the tools to take apart and put together beds which I wasn’t completely capable of considering my three youngest were having their snotty noses wiped every twelve seconds. Somehow caring for the younger sick set zapped me of all the mental energy I may have otherwise had. But in complete transparency that may not be completely truthful. I was feeling mentally zapped before the coughs and colds came up. It was a busy week. At least busy for me. I try and hibernate  as much as possible. Playdates and coffee dates and strolls around Target have been cut to a minimum. I feel like I am finally understanding what people were saying to me four years ago every. time. I. went. anywhere. “Aren’t you tired?” I finally feel that tiredness they were talking about.

Saturday morning I looked around my house and saw chaos in the form of messy bedrooms and babes that needed baths and a kitchen table that had milk spilt on it three days ago. I was supposed to go have dinner at my dear friends house, but somehow the sick ones kept me back. And the funny thing is, had the kids not been sick I think I would have still ventured on over and let the milk stay spilt on more day. But that would not have been wise. I would have felt tired for days. Feeling tired doesn’t help anyone.

So there is the balance finding thing again, and it is as hard for me now as it ever was. So much of me is go-go-go but so much of me is I-Can’t-Breathe-I-Am-So-Overwhelmed, also. And finding  a happy zen like medium is something I will try and master in the next decade. Or the next. Maybe when I am a grandma. I finally get what grandparents mean when they laugh and say, “We have fun with the grandkids, but we get to hand them back at the end of the day!” It’s not that they don’t love the cute kiddos, it just means that they are a lot of work.

In six weeks I will turn thirty and I guess the point of this is to say I feel tired enough to be a grandparent. In this scenario, being ahead of the game is not in my best interest. Cause, you know, I am like twenty years ahead. Well, my oldest is 14 so I suppose I could be a grandparent sooner then that. Wowza.

And that, my friends, made me feel even more tired then when I started this post.

Hope your weekend was restful, at least for a few moments. You gotta catch ‘em while you can.

 

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bela’s birthday

24 Feb

Isabela turned 11 this week. It seems so impossible when I think about the little girl I met 4 years ago, and how now she is this young lady. It is beautiful and tear inducing and ridiculous because life. goes. to. fast. dangit.

This year Isabela decided to forgo a party and asked to go out on a date with Dad and Mom to The Melting Pot! This girl has taste.

Going out with her for a whole day was a very special thing. I know we take our kids out for dates, but it is always one parent /one child. To have both of us spend a day with just one child was something we will defiantly remember for a long time (and the way we are planning to celebrate birthdays for the next year!). A special thanks to Gram and Gramps!

We started the day by going to an independent theater and seeing The Secret World of Arriety. 4 Stars! It was so sweet and precious and beautiful and one we will own.

Then we headed to Toys R Us for the birthday gift! Isabela has been riding the same bike for 4 years and had outgrown it. She was pretty zero-ed in on an old school Cruiser style, and it had to have a basket- which I think are just to cool. So she found one made for her (it says Maui Miss on the side and that is her DREAM vacation!)

Then we made our way to  The Melting Pot! We soaked up the experience and were there for 2 1/2 hours eating every morsel of cheese and chocolate in the pot. It was so fun and so special. And just like any 11 year old should be on their birthday, she became a little sugar high silly. Well, it may have been the 4 strawberry lemonades she drank as well!

{my favorite photo of Bela this year, in Eastern Wa}

I just want to say, here, publicly, how incredible proud I am of my Isabela. We have struggles, we have hard days and things that trigger big emotions. But the thing I want everyone to know about my daughter is that she is working so hard everyday to overcome obstacles that are easier for other children her age. She is a survivor and a fighter and some days her strength amazes me. It is so hard to trust others when you have a wounded heart, it is so hard to be vulnerable when your brain tells you to be scared. But Bela is working through it with a generous spirit, a hilarious sense of humor and the prettiest smile, well, anywhere.

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friday five spot.

17 Feb

Hey it is Friday, so here is the five spot!

1. I so want these right now for my trip to Florida in a few weeks! So stinkin’ cute!

2. I get to go here on Sunday with my husband and daughter for her birthday dinner! Isabela has been dreaming of going here for years- so it is gonna be great!

 

3. BRAG alert: Moses is the Star Student of the Month in his classroom. This was the first month this program started in his school so I am so proud he was chosen! His teacher said this about him: “Moses has an excellent attitude and is a model student for his classmates!” Um, could I be more proud? Be still my heart.

4. I started painting my stairs a few days ago.

Since pinterest and I are now BFF’s again I am loving the inspiration I am finding! I am hoping they end up something like this: 

But I will do it free hand. You know, so it looks ‘rustic’ …Suggestions on words/quote I should use?

5. My darling husband came home on the evening of Valentine’s day at about 7 o’clock, a yummy bag of Chinese in hand. I had skillfully bribed the children to go to bed extra early, so they were in bed with a Nintendo DS (2), an iPod touch and an iPad. Yes. Don’t judge. I had the living room clean, Pandora on {Station: Love Songs, basically Seal and Bryon Adams}. Once settled in with plates of goodness, he asked where the flowers were. I hadn’t received any so I was like, um, what flowers? He had ordered some to be delivered during the day and was surprised that they weren’t here. It was after 7pm. So he called the florist, closed at 6. He re-checked the email, guaranteed delivery. We looked on the porch again, nothing. He decided he would call the next day and request a refund. After all, he paid extra for the V-Day delivery. We went to bed around 9:30 and still nothing.

Well the next morning as he left for work at 5:55 he walked into our room with a bouquet that was sitting on out porch. Um, the did a midnight delivery I guess? They were gorgeous, but still, that is super lame. He called them and they said they delivered them at 6pm and that they rang the door bell and then they left them at the front of the door.

Um that is a straight up lie folks! 1) They weren’t on the porch at 9:30 pm and 2) We don’t have a doorbell! Jer told him, Hey we don’t have a doorbell. The guy said, well I rang it. Jer said, We don’t even have a dummy one to press! {I cut them off and unscrewed the front and back door bells, remember when Phoenix would spend hours ringing them when he was mad?! No bell to press, I guarantee it!}. Anyways, they did not apologize, ask how to fix their error, give a refund. Nothing. So, I don’t typically tell people to never use a certain business, but anyone local DO NOT USE PAULS FLOWERS!! Like, EVER!

So there it is, my dears. What have you been up to? What is your 5-spot? Tell me in the comments!

 

 

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collage art.

16 Feb

Moses and Isabela both recently made some art in their classrooms during free time on Valentine’s Day. It was a good visual of where each one has their heart on this special day:

Maybe Moses needs a music mentor, you know, so he chooses someone besides Katy Perry to be his Valentine?

 

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that crazy lady v.4.0

15 Feb

This week:

1. Maisey and Lincoln were invited to a birthday party at a nearby library! They picked out gifts and made cute cards and dressed in their finest. And then we got there.

And the kind librarian informed me the party was TOMORROW.

A day that already had plans for my family, therefore there would be no party for my two children.

So my sombrero wearing son, daughter and I crashed the Lego Club that was being held at the library instead.

And I spent two hours obsessively looking for white pieces to add to Maisey’s little cafe she was building. And by ‘she was building’ I really mean I was building. And no, I was not being controlling about where the cafe tables should go. No, not a bit.

2. I think I need to buy new socks. Or do laundry. My 4 yo is wearing one of my socks and one of his fathers.

3.We went to my parents farm to take care of the animals over the weekend. Imagine this scene, if you will, which all happened in about 5 seconds of being there:

Jer looks for dog food but can’t find it anywhere. I frantically call my mom who tells me it inside the house. So he gives Isabela the dogs on the leash to walk them while he goes inside for the food. Meanwhile Moses is at the hen house with a drill where he has lost the screw to close the coop for the night (a raccoon problem), well he can’t find it so I run up there and go inside the coop with him and the moment I get inside 4 sheep start moving in on me with a llama close behind and I start freaking out so I am yelling at them to move (which does not work) and then I start rotating the drill trying to scare them away (does not work). Meanwhile Jer is yelling outside the back door because Atticus has locked us out of the house and Maisey and Lincoln went upstairs and are pounding on the keyboard unaware of the fact the toddler locked us out. I look over and see Isabela screaming as the two dogs take off and start dragging her across the lawn, towards the chicken, barking, which, thankfully freaks the sheep out and they start running away. Thus, letting me out of the coop.

We are sooooo not meant to be farmers. Remind me never to get a pet.

4.I took 3 kids to the liquor store yesterday.

xoxo, that crazy lady.

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v-day & sugar highs & and why happy <3′s are the best.

14 Feb

I know breakfast has barely finished, but I just got back from dropping off the kids at school and I am on a bit of a sugar high and must get out some energy! I started the morning with sticker books and candy on the table for the kids to find- and yep, that was a great plan- because chores never got done so quickly!

And then crepes were made. With homemade strawberry jam filling. Warmed on the stove top made for scrumptious bites or oozing perfection.

And fancy milk was poured and I must say, these are the best kind of mornings. When everyone is just, simply, Happy. It feels good. It feels right. It is the kinda morning that should happen much more often. 

And sitting down with coffee and crepes and giggling children and Pandora in the background playing “Love Songs”, I smiled, wide.

These are the moments, the ones that matter. The ones that are etched in our hearts because they are full of goodness. And stickers. And sticky fingers.

And ridiculously perfect toddlers. The toddler who yesterday I was so frustrated with, who’s hands grab for everything, who’s favorite word is No, who’s always wishing he was bigger. But somehow today I managed to squeak out a Yes as he dove into his candy and ate an entire box. And you know what, it is okay.

And this picture says it all. That these are the good days. The to-good-to-stop-for-a-napkin-kinda-days. And if crepes and .25 boxes of sweethearts was all it took, perhaps, there should be more of that at our home.

Happy heart-day friends.

You Are Lovely.

xoxo, anya

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friday five spot.

10 Feb

Hello Friends! Another Friday, so quickly, I can barely believe it! But it is good because I loveeeeeee weekends.

1. We are headed to my parent’s farm this weekend so they can enjoy an anniversary/v-day get away! It is hard or them to leave with their animals needing TLC on a daily basis so it is great to be able to step in to help! It is like a mini-vaca for us as well, sometimes just stepping out of the daily routine is! So, expect some llama and chicken pics next week:)

2. I have been debating if I should buy colored jeans for quite some time. And a few months ago I decided Yes!- but not willing to pay $22.97 at Target for something that is, well, a passing fad. But I love the bright happy colors! And even though the check out girl at Target said I was *to old* to wear them I said to heck with it! If I could find them under ten bucks that is!

Well, I found a pair of HOT PINK ones for $4.oo at the Goodwill, just my size! Well I snatched them up of course. My 5 yo was the only one available to take the pic, so apologies for the blurry-ness:

3. PINTEREST loves me again! Don’t ask me why, they never responded to my emails, but my log in suddenly decided to work. So follow me and I will follow you and we can be BFF’s in the world of pretty things!!

4. Speaking of pretty things, these are the valentines I am *helping* my kiddos create for their classmates next week, I ordered the bracelets on amazon though- I am not going to invest time to make 60…

5. THREE WEEKS TILL ORLANDO!! I am so ridiculously excited…

Have a lovely weekend friends

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validation & moving forward & remembering to be Brave.

9 Feb

 

The way our hearts moves, the ebb and flow, is so complicated. Matters of the heart always are.

This is the sixth month Phoenix has been away at school. In this sixth month I am beginning to miss him. Miss the way he laughed at my jokes or the way he was always willing to play Bananagrams with me. Miss the way I could see him grow, from a boy to a young man and the way he would read any book on any subject I would give him.

In those feelings, the ‘missing you’ feelings, I begin to feel like maybe we could have been stronger, worked harder- done more before we decided on a therapeutic boarding school. He celebrated his 14th birthday this past weekend, he is 14 now friends. Can you believe it? I hardly can.

We all talked to him on his birthday, the kids sang Happy Birthday in the phone and you could tell there were tears on his end. He has always been an extremely emotional person, so they weren’t a huge surprise, but as I try to put myself in his shoes- there are tears in my eyes too.

Most of the phone calls from school to home are between dad and son. It is safer that way, I have a hard time moving forward and find myself stuck for a few days every time we have spoke. But this past week I decided to start writing him real letters. Not just a note tucked into a gift, but a real letter. I want him to know I love him, and as the months continue to pass I want him to know how very loved he is. That we are his family, forever. I know if I want him to know that deep down then a connection must remain between us.

So I sat down and took a huge step forward. I found myself with so many things to share with him. The books I have been reading, the kitchen floor dad pulled up, the way Atticus is dragging his blanket everywhere he goes. Wanting to balance sharing enough, without making his heart hurt. I felt Brave in writing to him, knowing that there may never be words reciprocated; but knowing as his Mom- that I want to give unconditionally to him. That is hard to do when you have been hurt by your child.

Yesterday I was cleaning the bedroom he had. I decided to pull up some carpet in the closet and under the corner I found another small stash of his. My eyes sprung with tears, once again feeling violated. My toddlers have been sleeping in there and feeling like grace was given to us in that no little fingers found the items.

I was validated in finding it though, validated in our choice to send Phoenix to school. So many times when other mothers hear he is at boarding school say something along the lines of, “I wish I could send my son away, he is driving me crazy! You are so lucky to afford it.” And I just smile quietly and nod my head. I don’t want to have to justify or say why this is different then that. But it is. It is so different when it is not about rolling eyes and dirty bedrooms and talking back. I wish to the bottom of my heart that is what him being at school was about. There would be so much hope in that. Teenagers grow out of bad habits and bad moods and bad attitudes. When you have a Reactive Attatchment Disorder and fight against love every time it is shown, you may never ‘grow out of’ it.

It is surreal to find validation in this twisted way, but it is what it is. And I am trying to be Brave in the midst of my brokeness because this is our story. Mother and Son.  And it may always be like this. Pretending it is a relationship just like so and so I see at the grocery store doesn’t help, but remembering that I do love my son and I do miss my son does.

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that crazy lady v.3.0

8 Feb

So this week:

-Normally I am okay with the gas gauge light going off while I am driving around. Usually I am okay with clocking 20 miles over after the red light flashes. Yesterday I hit 21.7 and suddenly had a near panic attack while picking up the kids from school. I knew I had to stop because it was 5 miles back to my house. And no, it wasn’t for fear of running out of gas with 5 kids in the car and a husband busy at work.

The fear was due to the fact I was wearing running shorts, Uggs,  no bra, a tee shirt with coffee stains covered by my husbands GONZAGA oversized sweat shirt, and my hair? We won’t even go there. Exactly the kinda person you want to run into while pumping gas. Luckily, I didn’t see anyone I knew. OR if I did- they didn’t recognize ME because I looked like a train-wreck. (note: I was cleaning the house all day. That makes it better, right?)

-I watch The Bachelor. You all know that by now. But the issue is becoming bigger. You see, I was in bed on Monday night watching the ultimate in ‘no brain energy required’ television and somehow, I was getting fired up. And I mean fired up. To the point where my husband, who was reading beside me asked why I was freaking out (i.e. yelling at Ben- you know, a reality tv star!?). I responded with “I HAVE A RIGHT TO FREAK OUT WHAT IS HE THINKING CAN”T HE SEE THROUGH HER SHE IS SO FAKE OH MY GOODNESS SAKES WHY DON”T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?”

At which point I retreated with wine and chocolate covered pretzels, feeling a *little* embarrassed by my outburst.

So I ask, what is worse, watching the show or having actual, real, feelings about the outcome?

I woke up about 17 times that night in agony over why I cared so much about Ben and Courtneys fate. Not about them mind you, about WHY DOES IT MATTERS TO ME?!?

Be concerned.

-All I ate yesterday was tortilla chips & chocolate covered pretzels (get those demons out of my house!!). Also coffee and wine.

-You may be wondering about all these beautiful non-credited images in this post? Well, pinterest still hates me. If you are my friend on fb you know the agony I have been facing since I have been locked out of my virtual bulletin board account. I have now wasted hours attempting to log in.

To no avail. I’ve emailed them more then once and need to stop because my charming emails have turned into, well, not so charming. But as I go back to try and log in I keep seeing all these amazing things being pinned. It is so mean. It is like the universe is taunting me with wonderful things I can look at but cannot have. Or pin. Whatev.

Anyways, to get back at the universe, I began to steal these images. You know, the treats I want to make at some point, the craft I want to go back to and make . Well, my desktop is now dotted with these images that I dragged and copied.

Crazy lady that I am, I did not think through the fact all it is is an image. Not the link to the blog or website or tutorial or anything. So now it like the worst tease in the world. The images are on my desktop laughing at the fact I will never get to make home made twix bars.

Terrible people.

-I am eating cold jalepeno poppers for breakfast. With coffee.

xoxo, the crazy lady

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