the lovely messy

Over Thanksgiving weekend one of the conversations that came up was around the idea of people being Happier depending on the place they reside. And is it a good thing or a bad thing to have your happiness change depending on your location? It is a pretty heated topic I realized, as people passionately argued different sides of the same coin over bread pudding and coffee and leftover pie.

I know which camp I fall in. I am an expert google-r of vacation homes and price line tickets and air b&b dreams. I wish we could always pick up and go, not be constrained by a home or a job or student loans. I wish we had the freedom to just Go and see what happens. Not everyone identifies with this. To some people having a simple home in the midst of acreage, a few chickens and a cow fills them up. That is beautiful. That gives them peace.

But me? I get antsy. I like to move. We have been in this home for 2 years. Two years people!? We are walking on record-breaking territory here folks, for our little tribe at least. And how does it feel, this sense of permanence?

Claustrophobic. Confining. Redundant.

There are some other words too, like Consistent or Known that are less negative. But the truth is still the same. As hard as change is, as hard as it is on me- I still crave it. Maybe change was engrained in me as an ARMY brat and the moves that happened against my will {I vividly remember riding in the mini van as we trekked from Washington to San Francisco for what as an 18 month move. As a 12-year-old the Celine Dion tape in my cassette player was on auto repeat as the tears streamed down my face}. So yes, change can be hard, but it also feels so very good.

So is it wrong for those feelings, those longings for different locations to surface? Does it mean we are un-happy-un-content-un-at-peace? I don’t think so. Yes, if circumstances are hard it is going to be a lot harder if you dwell on the have-not’s. But the circumstances might be more bearable if you are dwelling in them in say, Tahiti, instead of say, the North Pole. No?

I saw a movie yesterday, The Descendant’s. It takes place in Hawaii and the story follows a man as his wife is dying.  He says death is still death regardless of living in paradise.

Maybe so, George Clooney, but still- isn’t the hard stuff better when we feel happy with what we are, where we are, who we are? And can’t that all be better depending on the place we are standing?

My sister and I are always rolling around the idea of Portland, Oregon. We love it there. It is our family’s Spring Break stomping grounds. We always wish it was more, longer, lasting. But would that city be different then this city, that coffee better then this coffee, that park better then this park? Maybe no- but maybe Yes. Would you be happy there? Where would you be happier?

And what does it take to get you to happiest? And is it okay to want to go there, be there, dwell there?

I think so. The question is, are you brave enough to find out?

Brave enough to change, change something that is happening now to get you to happiest. Because none of us are there yet.

And maybe it isn’t a cross continent move {don’t leave me sis!}, but maybe it is.

Maybe it is a simple change. Like stop going to the playgroup with your kids that is full of toxic women. Go to the playground instead.

Maybe it is unplugging from technology for two hours everyday and instead paint or write in your journal or read a book, because those things make you full and Facebook makes you empty.

Maybe it is packing up all that crap you have lying over. under. every. where . and getting it out of your home. And then seeing your space though a new lens.

But maybe it is bigger. grander. more.

Maybe it is moving to Tahiti and remembering Your Life Is Happening Now. Maybe that is your dream, and I guarantee Dreams Fulfilled= Happiest. 

{the photographs are from a Spring Break trip to Portland a few years ago.}

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It was as fun as it looks. I can’t believe how very lucky I am.